Here’s an extract of an email from ‘Alex’, who is craving for his ex, as she wants them to meet up.  Alex is also very happy in another relationship.

“My ex left me to live with another man 9 months’ ago.  She admitted cheating on me for much of our two year relationship.  I was heartbroken when I fount out.  We split up immediately and she moved in with her lover.  I found someone new a few months’ ago and she is everything I would want – loyal, loving and does everything to make me happy.  Days ago my ex got in touch saying she wants to meet and I don’t know what to do.  She has been constantly on my mind since we split.  I care a lot for my new girlfriend but my ex can still make my heart race.  She was bright and very sexy.  I hate her for what she did, but I still love her, if you can understand that.  My head is spinning- should I agree to meet her?  I’m craving to see her again, what harm would it do?”

Well, Alex’s problem is experienced by many people who have suffered a traumatic breakdown of their relationship.  No matter if they have found someone who is fantastic in everyway, they still crave their ex.

Love is truly a drug.  Reasoning and common sense doesn’t come into it.  So many victims of a broken relationship, who have been humiliated, are willing to give up their new life to be back with the one who hurt them so much.  They are, in effect, chasing an impossible dream.  ’The One’ who had that indefinable x factor but has hurt then badly enough to have destroyed their relationship verses their current partner who seems great, but doesn’t possess that certain ‘something’ that is making the victim question that relationship.

I fired off a reply to Alex’s email and told him he should stop letting his heart rule his head.  No good would come of them meeting up.  Hr would be cheating on his new girl by keeping the’ meet up’ a secret or he’d have to come up with a lie to cover up meeting the ex.  He would start to turn into the kind of person his ex was.  Getting together with the ex over coffee could be the start of something he would have no control over and so risk losing someone who genuinely cares for him.

Alex’s reply: “Just needed you to confirm how stupid I’d be meeting up with my ex, thanks!”