I often repeat of how I got into writing about relationship problems in articles, reports and ebooks.
Many years’ ago I was a song writer/musician in a number of groups. I always looked for inspiration for lyrics from my own and friends’ relationships. Falling in and out of love was my usual lyric content. It was during the latter stages of my playing days that I got a job in a manufacturing company. During coffee breaks with my co workers I couldn’t help but get involved with discussions about their own relationship successes and failures. I would listen and offer my thoughts to a particular problem. Later some of my female co workers would stop me and ask me about my opinion, or tell me that a certain piece of advice had worked in their relationship. My advice or opinion was not from an experts book but from what I considered to be common sense. I took those simple points with me from all those years’ ago to the present day when writing about relationship issues. I was popular because I actually listened to what people had to say and gave an opinion that was devoid of self interest or false sentiment.
In your own relationships can you actually say, with honesty, that you listen to your partner and base your response on what’s best for the marriage or relationship without regard for self interest? If you did that, what feedback would you get from your partner? I am sure they would respond in kind, with positive communication. It’s also showing respect to your partner.
A lot of relationship problems stem from ineffective communication. If you just think back to when you first started dating, when both of you were getting to know each other, conversation would flow thick and fast. “Do you really want to know about my family?” or “Tell me more about yourself?” Maybe now you feel you know everything about each other and so daily conversation has just died away. But do you really know your partner? When was the last time you asked them about their opinion on something?
- Try engaging your partner in meaningful conversation. Ask them how their day went and show genuine interest – this works wonders.
- Disagreements happen, but if tempers flare, it is better to walk away. Most arguments take place because one of you wants to have the last word.
- Share a common goal. If it’s too early for retirement plans how about a business venture, possibly something on line. Anything that both of you can plan together is great for re-engaging interest in one another and conversation.
Relationships are only hard work when either of you in a relationship isn’t trying, or attempting to control the other. When you are listening you are caring. It’s easy, simple, powerful stuff.