We are all individuals with our own viewpoints, beliefs, and attitudes. When we come together with another person in a relationship, we all compromise to a certain extent. We are in effect checking each other out, finding out just what is acceptable. We tend to forgive little annoyances and bad habits, after all we can fix them at a later date. In the early stages of a relationship we are finding our way around our new, cute, smart, attractive, possibly rich new partner! If we didn’t compromise in those early stages, most of us would never form a relationship.
Compromise in relationships obviously has to work both ways between you and your partner. Firstly, individual boundaries should be established between you. It’s being part of a comfortable environment as an individual within a relationship. Ideally you feel good and at ease about yourself and your partner. Compromising to keep the peace, or the other person happy, which involves sacrificing your own boundaries is self destructive, leaving you miserable, in a doomed relationship. It’s a careful balancing act, keeping your own individuality and compromising when it feels the right thing to do.
Reading through several relationship advice forums covering this subject, it seems there are many people who are, or have been in, unsatisfactory relationships where compromising has resulted in loss of freedom,self esteem, and fear. Fear of rejection, of losing their partner if they didn’t do everything their partner demanded, the relationship centered around this person who was controlling, inflexible, and unthinking of their partner’s feelings.
You might be happy to compromise on all the other stuff, choosing what movie you are both thinking about seeing, or what ethnic restaurant you are going to later. But don’t compromise on what you believe in, your self respect, or your hopes and dreams.
There will always be conflict within a relationship at some time, because you are both individuals and **** happens!
Take care of yourself, and keep your dignity within the relationship. Over time, conflict, egos, and compromise lose their relevance, and a deeper understanding and tolerance of each other takes over.
It’s getting there that could be the hard bit!
How do you feel about compromise within a relationship, please leave a comment.
Hi Ray
I have been with my wife since 1972 so I guess we have managed to find good compromises when the need has arised!
Now the children have flown the nest it seems that we need to adjust to each others needs a little bit more, hence a few more situations where finding the middle ground helps the day go more smoothly!
All the best
Nick
Nick recently posted..Overcome Your Fears!
Hi Nick,
I am in the same position as you. Now that our children are no longer the centre of our home life, we are refocusing on each other.
In fact we are enjoying finding mutual interests again.
thank’s for your response.
Ray