I was checking out some relationship advice forums when I saw this post. The question posted was, ‘what are the main reasons a man leaves a woman’. For such a simple question the comments that were received numbered several thousand. It seems there were many men just itching to submit a comment, the main reasons are listed here:
- Always complaining, nagging
- Lack of sex
- Lazy
- Uncaring
- Incompatible
- Infidelity
- Financial issues
From other research I conducted, I found that a high percentage of men who submitted such a list used the above points as justification for having an affair by portraying themselves as the victim.
There are many broken families where the wife is made to question her own sanity because her husband with whom she shared what she thought was a happy relationship blames her for pushing him into the arms of another woman. He also is most likely feeling guilty for starting an affair and possibly breaking up his family. It is therefore easier on his conscious by moving the blame from himself to his wife who is then left devastated, leaving deep emotional scars.
1, Sex is listed by most men as the No. 1 reason for all relationship/marriage break ups usually involving infidelity, and the wife or partner’s lack of interest in sex. Sex is important to men throughout their adult life and many do not understand when a woman shows reduced interest. Rather than finding out the underlying cause of the problem they take the apparent rejection personally.
There are though, many couples who are part of a loving, happy relationship, which is maintained without the necessity of physical intimacy. When a woman has an affair, which she admits to, very few men are able to forgive her. It hurts them deeply that she has given herself to someone else. Divorce and separation is the usual outcome in these situations.
Perhaps the biggest reason a man will abandon his partner is because he’s found someone else. The break up could involved children and usually the marriage/relationship breakdown is very messy. In many of these situations he feels guilty about breaking up the family and genuinely wishes he didn’t pass on the ensuing pain and bewilderment to his children.
Men are often flattered by another woman showing them interest and attention, which may start out innocently enough with mutual flirtation, but eventually progresses into a full-blown affair. Secretive and exciting, the affair is a massive boost to their ego by having a lover and a wife.
2, Some relationships aren’t meant to last. Aside from religious considerations where some faiths insist married couples stay together until ‘death us do part’. The reality of the situation is that some couples should not stay together.
We all change in varying degrees throughout our lives and therefore, our feelings for our partner can change dramatically over time. Some relationships naturally run their course and couples only end up staying together for financial or family reasons. In this situation separation is the better solution rather than spending many more years in a miserable dead relationship, leading to possible depression.
A nagging, controlling woman, who bullies her partner, is a reason many men will leave their partner. These men will suffer in silence for many years before finally separating. Even then, they are too embarrassed to admit it was their partner’s bullying and sometimes violent treatment of them that forced them to move away.
3, Financial problems, are a big factor in relationship breakdown. Having enough income to enjoy life within a relationship is a necessity. A relationship struggles to function harmoniously without it. The resulting stress leads to frequent arguments,putting tremendous strain on the relationship. Couples should be working together to come up with actionable short term solutions to their money worries. Unfortunately it’s at crucial times like this that relationships built on weak foundations are exposed.
In situations where the couple are also partners in a business, when these fail the whole relationship tends to collapse. Men can be so clinical in their assessment of the best course of action and walking away from their partner, home and business is deemed an easier option than struggling through their problems and working on a solution together.
The results of a recent study of old age couples questioned them on their secrets of a long marriage. It found that the majority of men said the secret was having a patient wife. The women responded by saying having to put up with a lot of BS from their husbands by overlooking ‘a lot of things’. And so focused instead on keeping the family together. In other words, men realize women have to put up with a heck of a lot from them in a relationship, is it because men tend to be more controlling and self-centered? Whereas women look to keeping the whole family unit functioning , in order to survive.
The overall impression I got from the forum replies was that men care more about their own happiness than trying to maintain a family/relationship.
What are your thoughts?
Please leave a comment.
