Overcoming Social Anxiety And Shyness
Many of us, as children, go through a period of shyness and social anxiety, there are many possible causes.
1, Children inheriting their genetic heritage from their parents.
2, The actions of family members affecting the child, causing anxiety.
3, Being teased or bullied at home, school or in other social situations.
As we grow into young adults meeting and conversing with the opposite sex can prove to be a problem. Some people find it difficult to come to terms with anxiety and shyness when interacting with others, which can affect them throughout their lives.
To break the cycle of social fear you need to recognize that you have a problem which is irrational and are willing to take steps to subdue your self conscious feelings. Coming to terms with your shyness and social anxiety will go along way to changing the way you see the world. There are counselors and therapists who can help you, but here I have included some self help tips that just may go some way to alleviate this:
1, Break the focus on your negative self conscious feelings, concentrate instead on positive points you think you have about yourself.
2, Start conversations by asking questions about the other person, for example, why did they choose to come to that particular event. Complement them on their choice of clothes. You can even make a point of mentioning your anxiety in a humorous way. People will always react sympathetically.
3, If possible, try to make eye contact often, without starring. This shows you are genuinely interested in what the person has to say.
4, Many people use alcohol to boost their confidence in public. Drinking sensibly can help in the short term, just know your limitations or else you will find people talking about you for all the wrong reasons!
5, Make mental notes on how people interact with each other in social situations. Then try to use some of these positive points yourself when interacting.
6, Practice several conversation topics. It is a good idea to do some background reading by reviewing the national newspapers, watching the news, to get up-to-date with current affairs, sporting events, music, etc, so that you can easily join in a discussion around a topic.
You don’t have to put yourself under undue pressure. Try out some or all of the above points, observe and learn. Take one step at a time and hopefully, you will grow into the happy, confident person you always wanted to be.
I do feel very sorry for adults who are shy. I was shy as a child, but I remember being told that I would need to outgrow this because shyness is fine in kids but looked down on for adults. I’m glad that I was taught this, because I worked at overcoming shyness and had outgrown it by the time I was in my teens. Like most things in life, shyness is easier to overcome when your younger than when you’re older, and I’m certain that it is very hard work for adults.
Interesting comment, I think a lot of adults find it difficult to rid themselves of their childhood phobia’s. Shyness is something that certainly affected me, way into my teens. Forming a Rock band with my friends,and going out playing venues helped me alot!
I’m glad you sorted yourself out.