Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), is not only helpful in resolving many personal problems, but also helps you change the way you see your relationship.  It has been found to be useful in helping to neutralize problems before they develop into relationship breakdown.

When you are going through a difficult time in your relationship, you look at your partner from a negative viewpoint.  How frustrated you feel because they won’t budge from their position which is called the ‘self position’.  Try instead to use the ‘other position’ whereby you step into their shoes, see these ‘problems’ from their point of view, and think about how they experience being in a relationship with you.  Seeing yourself from a detached position just might surprise you.  Is it you who is being inflexible?  You will see that the problems will look and feel different to your own perspective, and so gives you more flexibility and understanding in confronting your relationship issues.

What was the original source of the argument?  Maybe your partner has been spending a lot of time on the computer, which makes you frustrated and angry, as they seem to be immersed in their own little world, ignoring you.  Your partner adopts a defensive stance and they, themselves, get angry, with the whole negative atmosphere escalating.

Next time you see your partner at the computer, before it triggers an aggressive response, take a deep breath and visualize anything that immediately provokes happy, positive feelings.  For example, visualize a happy memory of a great holiday or something from your childhood.  This gives you a moment to calm yourself before speaking.  You are approaching them mentally from a different position and will be able to talk to them more rationally.  Ask your partner if you can join them to view the website they are looking at, so you are showing interest in what they are doing.  After a short while, or if your partner is not keen on you joining in (don’t get angry if they say no), suggest that you do something else together like watching a movie on the television, going out for a walk, etc.

Although these are simple self help NLP techniques, there are many issues that can only be remedied by an NLP therapist, who will be able to guide you through your relationship issues.

Google ‘NLP therapists’ to find one close to your location or click the link here.