In considering writing a post on loneliness I was surprised to see that by typing ‘I am lonely’ into Google’s search engine it came up with over 50 million results!  From blogs and forums on the subject it seems there are a heck of a lot of people out there who are alone or lonely.

There are many that suffer feeling lonely or loneliness in silence.  It seems they are all around us.  Many people confuse being alone with loneliness.

Being alone is, for many, a choice, an activity they value.  Spending some time away from family, friends and co-workers doing what they want to do.  Some need to get away from socializing and being involved with groups of people, even for just a short time.  It’s natural to want to have some time away from others.  People appreciate their own space even within a relationship.  For me, it’s an opportunity to de-clutter my mind, relax and just enjoy my own company.

Loneliness is an emotional state, a symptom of a social problem.  It maybe a desire to integrate but feeling that it’s not possible to interact socially for many reasons.  There is a perceived view in society that loneliness is a personal weakness, something that the person has brought on themselves.

Researchers at the University of Chicago have noted that it’s possible for people to instinctively  realize that loneliness is contagious and so isolate themselves from sufferers.  There could be a reason for this, as those suffering this condition can pass on their feelings of inadequacy to those people still in contact with them.  Who will then pass those feelings onto others.

Professor Cacioppo, at the University of Chicago, has stated that loneliness is bad for the wellbeing of the body and mind, with increased blood pressure, stress and other ailments.

As loneliness is a state of mind, a social depression, it can be divided into two types, ‘state’ and ‘trait’ loneliness.

State loneliness is a temporary form, for example, moving to a new town or a new job.  Different surroundings and people could make you feel lost and lonely for a short time, until you become more acquainted and confident about your new situation and people as you get to know them.  Although some people can find this a difficult situation which does not improve over time.

Trait loneliness is a more serious problem to overcome.  The inherent trait or characteristics of the person is the reason for their loneliness.  They are usually feeling lonely most of the time.  People, situations and events, for example, Christmas, do not alleviate the problem.

At this time of year, when we get together with family and friends to enjoy  the festive season, someone just might be suffering from loneliness, and they could be someone you know.