I usually give tips and advice that people can use to save their relationship.  This post is for those who have no wish to continue with their relationship, or that their partner has made it clear that the relationship is over for good.  If you have been physically and/or mentally abused, then getting out of that miserable relationship at the earliest opportunity is the best option for your well being.

There is a lot of advice in books and on the internet that say once you are living apart from your ex you should trash all physical memories, like photos and gifts they gave to you.  Some well meaning advice also states that you should make a list of all of your ex’s faults so that you have a constant reminder of why you wouldn’t want them back with you.

Your relationship with your ex was unique, and you should decide how the weeks and months going into your new life are dealt with.  You may want to keep some mementos of your time together.  The relationship must have been good once.  Maybe your ex split with you and you still care about them, and so want to keep some reminders of happier times.  Also, if to move on with your life you need to erase all physical memory, then that will give you some closure.

You are going to be feeling lost and unsure, and possibly frightened of what the future has in store for you.  Do whatever makes you feel better and positive about ending your old life and starting afresh.

You may want to be rid of everything that reminds you of your ex, but you will still have your memories, good and bad, for many more years.

In the days after your break up it’s an idea you immerse yourself in some activity.  Mayb you would like to do something you have enjoyed in the past, but was not possible while in the relationship.

Jumping quickly back into dating is something that maybe should be avoided at this time.  Your emotions could be all over the place and you are likely to make rash decisions.  It’s a better suggestion for you to take time out with some friends or colleagues.  You also need to consider taking some time to rationally think about what to do with your life in the short term.

There maybe home and financial considerations that are a priority.  Are there children involved?  Those are the important things that you have to sort out now.

My own experience of breaking up with my partner of several years was the worst I have ever felt.  I was, for about two weeks, a wreck, but I pulled myself together.  If you are in a similar position I really do feel for you and hope that you are able to ‘pick up the pieces’ of your life.  Maybe it was the best thing to happen to you, or you are hurt, lost and confused.  Either way, you have to move on to, hopefully, a new and invigorated life.